Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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