we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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