i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
