wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
