It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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