brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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