Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
