absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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