You can't motorboat a personality
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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