with your own penis?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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