Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize