I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
