jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
