My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
