Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
