bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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