great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
What a dumb baby whore.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
