he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
