You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
