Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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