He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hate all girls vehemently.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
