I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize