I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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