He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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