fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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