I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
