dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I could make wine with my vomit
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
