Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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