maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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