from now on my penis is your penis
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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