Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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