so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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