are you still at the devil's house?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
