apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
