well most of my day revolves around power hour
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
