Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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