Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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