it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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