I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
