yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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