Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize