You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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