Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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