i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
