I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
