i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
