bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize