"it" just moved
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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