Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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