i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
