so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
