Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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