he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize