My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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