Whoa Z and x make the same sound
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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