Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
