i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
