Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
