You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
