she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
