i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
