Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
