It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize